Stays at Oil City. Why? Well because I hardly doubt anyone remembers regardless. I had the privilege of once again maintaining my proud new nickname “walks is old balls” when the younger edition of former Blades players strolled into town for the long weekend. Sure I had fun, there aren’t to many times when I go out in Edmonton that I tend not to have fun but this was actually the first time I visited Oil City Roadhouse in at least a couple months, and I’m happy to say I won’t go back until I have to. Not because it’s bad no, it’s because it usually ends up with me not remembering anything.
I will try not to bore anyone with the details of my failure from the weekend as it usually ends up like…
Guy gets drunk, guy strikes out cause he’s to drunk, guy drinks more, guy screws up a sure thing, guy passes out , wakes up, then claims “he’s never drinking again”. I’ve probably done that more times then I’m proud to say.
Aside from the good things that took place there were a lot of bad things that probably overshadowed the drinking. Where does a guy begin? Well I suppose I could talk about Hudson’s Friday night and the most atrocious puke I’ve ever smelt in my life. I’ve witnessed a lot of puke episodes at a bar before having attended multiple 25 cent draft nights at both the (former) Corral and Cowboys, I’ve seen a guy puke down some girls shirt, some guy puke all over a bouncer, heck I’ve even managed to upchuck in my beer bottle after having one two many Tequila shots (thanks for that whole shooter tray again Trav), but I have NEVER seen someone puke in a bar and literally move an entire crowd out of it. It was one of those moments where had I had my camera it surely would of been a masterpiece seeing the crowd flock towards fresh air.
Saturday night involved the first of two trips to Oil City, nothing in particular happened inside but outside what I thought (key word “thought”) was a sure thing was tossed out the window when I and my accomplice spent the better part of the night talking to a homeless guy. By better part of night I mean we were there till close to 5 in the morning bullshitting with this guy before he went on his way. Thankfully we were fortunate to see the other side of good bum/bad bum. On one hand you feel some sympathy for one guy who hit the wall from having everything taken from him and then you have another guy who is cracked out on “rock” and wanting to buy some us. Unfortunately for him I don’t do “rock” but had he been somewhat sober he would of seen the drug dealer who pulled up beside us around 3:30 am trying to sell us some of his goods. Life must be good for him because I’m sure he was driving a BMW, you would think though as a drug dealer you would try to be a little more discrete.
But alas that wasn’t the end because we had the privilege of nearly hanging out with a crack whore and had the fun of seeing some homeless eating moldy bread. I’ll leave it at it being an “interesting night” to say the least.
Then Sunday night rolled around and yes we once again went to Oil City. Much to our surprise (and maybe the governments lame new law limiting the sale of cheap highballs) I doubt I will ever see Oil City Roadhouse that dead again if and when I’m ever there. I’ll throw it out there that there was probably no more then 200 inside the bar at any time, maybe even under 100. Regardless fun was had, maybe a little to much fun (after I scan the 30 minute video I took inside the bar Ill be sure to put up some highlights). Outside sucked and no time was wasted for most of us to head home…except for one straggler named Chaps who apparently got lost (or probably ditched due to drunkeness). Upon wondering just where the hell he was I finally got a phone call from him telling us he was in China town…to this day one still wont know why he walked up that way or even walked to my condo to begin with but he did.
Sure I walked home from Rexall through sketch town on 118 ave one night after Bar None but I have never and will never test myself walking home through China Town (most Edmonton stabbings/shootings happen in China Town, or so I was told). After being a little worried I tried calling him back after he made mention of two people following him but I couldn’t get a hold of him, so like a good friend I made breakfast for myself and waited…about 10 minutes before the alcohol took over and I passed out.
Thankfully Chaps made it home, unfortunately he had one more hurdle, with me passed out and pretty much the entire condo that hurdle was bigger then anything you will ever see at the Beijing Olympics this summer, that hurdle came in the size of scaling my balcony to try and get into my locked patio door. After actually making it up the siding he apparently spent a good deal of time knocking on the patio door and living room window before deciding it was time to kick in the door. Despite laying into my patio door no one awoke which is nice to know, considering a potential rapist, murderer, or even petty thief could have brought a battering ram and wiped me out and left us all with a case of gonnorhea. Even as I sit here with my noise canceling headphones someone could be stealing my plasma or getting ready to stab me in the back which is a nice bedtime thought.
But things turned out fine except for the rest of the day Monday and I apologize again for locking Chaps out of the house…
With that said though I hope all you assholes stay away from me for a month, I don’t think my liver nor my old man balls can handle another weekend like that anytime soon.
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